How to Fight Depression?
Is Wealth the Key of Happiness?
Happiness and inner satisfaction are those feelings which are not
buy able property. Wealth is very much essential to meet the daily life
requirements but it is not sufficient to give anybody real sense of
happiness and joy. So many wealthy people have to sleep after taking
sleeping pills; they have lost their natural sleep for so many reasons.
They are living a miserable life without happiness, joy, love and caring
of their dearest ones. Their children have no time to give them
company. They have to drink wine and have to indulge in other addictions
in order to get rid of their sadness; but in vain. Their wealth seems
terrible to increase their difficulties because so many people of their
family have become greedy to get their wealth at any cost; they feel.
They are going down day by day in ocean of depression. Even wealth seems
unable to avoid suicide in depressed people lacking real happiness and
mental satisfaction in life. Why?The moral arc of the universe bends at the elbow of justice.Famous Martin Luther King Quote 22:
Mechanical Life
We have to face numerous aspects of life. With the passage of time our priorities continuously remain changing. Some people make them so absorbed in business that they find no time for relaxation and other healthy activities. They have to work hard mentally but even then physically they are idle. So the most important thing in this life is to maintain all the activities in balanced manner. And with the daily business should spare some time for your family children and relatives in order to share your sorrows and happy hours. In this way mental tension and sense of loneliness may be reduced.Over Expectations
Another main reason for our tension and moroseness is that we find people failed to fulfill our expectations. Some time we behave someone very kind and helpfully and we naturally expect the same response from other side. If we don’t find our friend doing and thinking good for us we become un-happy. Do good have good, but don’t expect to have good it may be bad. High expectations from our dearest ones sometimes give us only depression and frustration as a result. We should always have low expectations from other people to avoid depression and frustration. It is a common mistake to feel that we can change someone to match our preferences. Every one has its own mind and no body can change other’s fundamentals. If we try to do so and fail, ultimately we will be frustrated.Healthy Company
Some people always remain gloomy and criticizing the world; try to avoid their company. Be optimistic and try to cultivate happiness; share your joys with your friends and colleagues. Always think positive. It is up to you; weather you keep your eye on good or bad. If you find goodness you find it and if you search bad, it is already available. Negative thinking makes sad, glooming, miserable, spiteful and malicious. But positive thinking gives you happiness and satisfaction. So try to focus on good qualities of every person instead of discussing his mistakes or weaknesses.Speak the truth
It is satisfaction of mind. You feel confident and feel happiness when speaking the truth. Telling a lie makes a man cowardice, confused and destroys your respect and honor resulting frustrated you. Never wait someone to give you happiness and joy. Try to offer goodwill to others ultimately you will find happiness and joy as reward. I can not explain in words the joy felt after giving charity to poor people; their smile gives us real and ever lasting happiness. We can not buy happiness but if we spend our wealth in public benefit, giving charity, doing physical help for needy people, even giving a loving smile to give consolation, it is the source of joy and happiness for us.7 Ways to Relax your Mind
Break Routine
After some time some days or some months we feel boring with
same routine work and want a change; it is common nature. You can say
we want to relax for some time to have a change. Psychologically it is
necessary to increase our working ability and capacity to have some
relaxation and change in daily life routine. Here are some ways to
relax mentioned as under:-Stop ALL.
To get relaxation go some silent place and be alone. Stop doing all works, sit back in relax position, switch off all lights, radio, TV, Computer and any sounding/flickering equipment. Now stop thinking and try to empty your mind from all thoughts. And stop your physical movements. Keep your eyes closed. Spend as much time as u can, to get relaxation and visit the place when you fell boring and exhausted.Gardening
Gardening is very useful hobby for relaxation. Sow seeds and grow plants in your lawn. You will enjoy and feel relaxation while cutting, watering plants and to see the flowers attracting you by their fragrance.Letter writing
In this busy society friendly letter writing has been reduced as other fastest means of communication has taken its place. But you can enjoy if you write a letter to your friend and give your friend a joy by receiving hand written letter from you. Writing some letter also increases the ability to compose your thoughts and to decide. Not only you can share your thoughts with your friend by letter writing but also it is a documentary goodwill for your dearest ones.Yoga Exercises
Some breathing exercises can relax you during daily business if you don’t spare time for any mood changing environment. Come out, get air in your lungs, up to fullness of diaphragm and release it slowly. By doing such exercise frequently you inhale abundance of oxygen giving you relaxation physically and mentally.Room Changes
Some ladies have to spend most of the time at home with their numerous daily routine jobs in some societies. She can change their environment by re-arranging the room, setting of furniture, placement of decoration pieces and other house hold items.Out-door Picnic
Arrange an out door picnic with your family, friends or dearest ones. You will find great relaxation after picnic and whole day activities. Open environment with laugh and pleasure, joking and having company of your dearest ones makes you happy, fresh and energetic. If you are lacking in good relations; try to forgive your relatives and friends for their mistakes, you will win their hearts and a real joy in you life. Forgiveness gives happiness and curb depression.Play with children
Be child with children and play to relax you. You can play so many games with children and you will feel change in your gloomy mood and great help in order to get rid of sorrows. The company of innocent children boosts up your morale. Touching and hugging the innocents gives a sense of pleasure and relaxation. As human touch have an effect to lower mental tensions and depression.How to Lower Tension and Anxiety?
Fight to depression
In daily life tensions and anxiety has been increasing day by
day. No body can claim that he never become its victim. In order to fight with depression following techniques have been proved helpful;-Start Walking
If you are feeling tension and anxiety and you also want to get rid of it; then walking is a simple and nice tip to reduce it. 40 minute walk results in lowering the level of tension and anxiety immediately. If this practice is to be continued it is also a helpful for fat people to reduce their weight. But for reducing weight, brisk walking is recommended by health advisors normally in order to get desired result. Flexibility of the body is very much related to stretching. By stretching muscles become strong and fats starts burning resulting in weight loss, decreasing stress, depression, gloomy mood and helping in increasing height.Change Your Thinking Style
As you know tension and anxiety is mental ill state so some psychological tips are also useful to over come it. It needs some behavioral changes to counter tension and anxiety in daily life. Instead of thinking all the time about your own problems and miseries try to celebrate other people’s successes. You would find the real happiness by positive thinking because jealousy is not appreciated in any community.Avoid Contradiction
Try to appreciate people for their good works, dressing, belongings and beauty using nice words. Avoid criticism; ignore mistakes of others but never be selfish to praise any one. In the response people would start to like you and give you good response; and you will feel happy. Proud and superiority complex often makes the people unwanted in community. Be humble and speak the truth.Keep Smiling Face
Keep smiling as it is the best tonic for your face beauty even the most expensive face makeup cannot beat it. It is up to you that either you behave like mad on pretty issues or you just smile on big losses. Try to avoid insulting behavior; the harsh words uttered in rage are a big cause of wounding the soul and soul wounds takes a time to heal. The best gift for the people is your smile and good wishing which resultantly makes you popular in the community.Do not consider any act of kindness insignificant, even meeting your brother with a cheerful face.
Hadrat Muhammad (Peace be upon Him) Quote
Love People and Build Relations
The love from the community as well as from your family side can bring you out from worries, tensions and depression. Loneliness is the result of being cut off from relatives on pity matters; try to build up good relations with your relatives and friends. Key of success is forgiveness; keep forgiving and winning hearts. You will find no time to be depressed or worried in daily life business.7 Keys to Win Your Husband’s Heart
Love Bond
The relationship of husband and wife is the most important and of delicate nature. To make it strong and enjoyable
the role of wife can not be ruled out. In most communities men are
dominant having decision powers in daily life and are very much touchy
about their ego and don’t like contradiction. Although both partners
are equally responsible if their relation breaks or becoming weak and
boring. Is Beauty all in all ?
Men naturally found impressed by women’s beauty; but only beauty is not sufficient for a wife to win her husband’s heart. The main reason is that always struggle is done for those things which are not available and after their availability they becomes ordinary and charm less. So it is important to take care about your relations with husband in order to avoid them being weak or freeze. In early months and years of marriage husband attraction and wife response remains ideal but with the passage of time it gradually becomes loose.Time and Tide Wait for None
After a time husband becomes busy in his outdoor activities and the wife gets busy in children and their necessities. Both have less time for them; it is the time where husband need loving, caring and beautiful partner. And the wife has to ignore her husband due to increased responsibilities of her children and even she doesn’t care about her beauty. At this stage husband continually require full attention of his wife but never express it openly and if he feel that he is not given due protocol, he expresses his rage in different ways. And the warm relations fells into weakness and coldness.This situation is alarming for any sensible woman who wants the true love of his husband and to care his children at a time. Here are some guidelines for ladies in order to help them gaining love, caring and warm relationship of their husbands.
Mind Concentration
Commonly it is observed that whenever it is tried to do so many works at a time then due to lack of full attention all the works completed remain substandard. Any work completed with full attention always gets the best results. The same law is observed in human life. Wives, who try to perform so many works of their children and husband at a time, they never pay full attention to their husbands. Even at bed time they are thinking about daily activities, hence they cannot pay full attention to love making with their partners. So it is imperative to concentrate on love making during bed time with your husband in order to exchange full fun, enjoyment and mental relaxation.Gifts Presentation
Love is like a moon when it stops increasing, starts decreasing. All the efforts should be made to increase your love relations with your partners. Exchange loving words and gifts with each other and try to be the first in giving instead of waiting from other side. So much you try to give pleasure to others, more you get in response.Prefer Your Partner
Always respect your husband, never do or talk any thing which may cause him insulting. Prefer your husband relation over all relations in order to get real happiness of heart and soul. Respect his sexual desire and try to fulfill it without any hesitation with full zeal and zest. Always enjoy with your partner and never make any lame excuse for avoiding love making.Try to Be Partner Instead of Boss
Some ladies try to behave their husbands like servants; it is not fair morally. If your partner is suffering financial constraints; you should encourage him and try to ease him with every possible saving methods. Ensure him that you are his partner of life (combination of happiness and sorrows) and co-operate with him.Express Your Loving Feelings
Some ladies hesitate to express their loving feelings about their partners and feel that their love is being expressed by their obedience and hard working. No, it is wrong; love expression is much necessary with loving. Always pay compliments with loving words, never forget to say thank you, I love you, even for minor presentations.Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Famous Martin Luther King Quote
Dress up for Him
Try to dress up in the evening for your partner, use perfumes, dressing and light makeup with freshness. Then meet your husband in the bed, and show him that all it is for him you did. Before making love ensure the room door is locked in order to avoid any interruption of family members or children. It will give you sense of security and satisfaction essentially required during love time.Avoid Communication Gap
Communication gap may raise confusions and misconception between partners. Always try to discuss all issues with your husband and clear any confusion if arise well in time. Never thing negative and always try to avoid suspicious about your partner; it is poison for relations. It is said, love and suspicious cannot remain together in one heart.If I am Unfortunate; Why me?
Thinking Style
It is common that we often say why this bad time comes to me
only? We remember always those things which we could not achieve,
without thinking about the blessings we have already in our life. Here
is a very short story of a well known player, having a golden lesson
for all of us. Arthur Ashe, the well known legend player of tennis was dying of AIDS. He got this disease in 1983 by infected blood transfusion during heart surgery. He received numerous letters from his fans all over the World.
One of his fans wrote him in gloomy words “why god selected you for such a bad disease”? Arthur Ashe, replied his fan and wrote him in following words,
“All over the world 5 crore children start playing tennis,
Out of them 50 lacs learn to play tennis,
Out of them 5 lac learn professional tennis,
Out of them 50,000 come to the circuit,
Out of them 5000 reach the grand slam,
Out of them 50 reach Wimbledon,
Out of them 4 reach to semifinal
2 of them reach to the final match,
When I was holding a cup
I never asked my GOD" Why Me"?
And today in pain, I should not be asking Him "Why me?
Happiness keeps you Sweet
Trials keep you Strong
Sorrow keeps you human
Failure keeps you humble
Success keeps you glowing
But only GOD keeps you going and going>>>>>>
Arthur Ashe (49-years-old): July 10, 1943 – February 6, 1993
Arthur Ashe won three Grand Slam titles, including a shock win over Jimmy Connors at Wimbledon in 1975, five years after his last win. He died of AIDS-related pneumonia in 1993 after contracting the disease via a blood transfusion.Main Causes of Depression
What is Depression?
Depression is the mental disease of this civilized society.
There are so many factors that may cause depression; failure of exam,
anger, moroseness, sense of guilt, hate, love disappointments and injustice are
the main reasons. Practically when a dishearten person gives up
struggle to fight with the problems in life and feel miserable; he is
considered depressed. Role of Injustice in Depression
Depression is very much dangerous for its victims try to harm themselves even people commit suicide under this disease. Injustice is the root cause of this mental disease; because every person likes to be treated equally under the same rule regulations. Even children feel unhappy if they are not treated on merit. Justice is a tree giving fruits of peace, happiness, love, devotion, respect and security. The society without justice is always full of tension, corruption, hate, insecurity and so many immoral ills causing the depression in those people who are economically and socially weak in the society. But it is not the disease of poor people only; it affects all the classes of society.The moral arc of the universe bends at the elbow of justice. Famous Martin Luther King Quote
Is Relegion Helpful to Control Depression?
The most affected personnel with depression are those who don’t believe in religion. Religion is hope; guides his followers to believe in god and provides the sense of good and bad. So many moral values are given by the religion, which are very much helpful in order to come out from depression and other psychological disorders.Justice and Religion of Islam
All the religions are in favor of justice and guide their followers to remain optimistic during all up and downs of life. Islam is the religion known as complete code of life providing complete guidance about all the aspects of life. Also defines the human rights and orders strictly to do justice and to avoid cheating, stealing, lying, fraud, murder, rape, gambling, use of wine, and all other immoral activities. Resultantly the real followers of Islam enjoy peace and happiness in their society under the Islamic law. Under Islamic rule fear of strict punishments of crimes has been lessened the ratio of crimes as compared to other societies.A white has no superiority over black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action.As already discussed the main cause of depression is injustice; so any society based on justice and fair dealing giving human rights to its citizens can protect them from depression as a whole.
Hadrat Muhammad (Peace be upon Him)
How to Avoid Depression?
High Morale
No body can claim that he never faced problems in life;
continues struggle to over come the problems is actual life. The high
morale is necessary to combat with the difficulties. Normally some
people face the problems with courage and boldness and the others become
worried, nervous and miserable; it is up to the physical and mental
health of a person and will power. As the depression is a mental
condition so it can be avoided by the psychological and behavioral
improvements. A man can't ride your back unless it's bent. Famous Martin Luther King
Do Good have Good
All of us want happiness, joy and mental peace in our lives, why we should enjoy to make others miserable? Any one who thinks or tries to harm someone else, first of all he destroys his peace of mind, good sleep and resultantly he looses the sense of happiness in his life. If we offer good will to other people this creates a pleasant feeling of joy which is unexplainable in words. Do good have good; so try facilitate people in their problems and focus the good qualities of others instead of fault finding and unnecessary criticism. It is common rule that “what we give out; we get back”. This behavior change results in your popularity and you find people loving and caring you.Positive Thinking
Thinking is continues working of mind in daily life. Positive thinking results in good physical and mental health. Avoid sentiments of hate, anger, fear and jealousy being thinking positive. Admire people for their good qualities more than to criticize their mistakes. Negative thinking means to focus on the dark side of things and fault finding disposition. As soon as we feel negative thinking we should stop and change the thinking topic or try to indulge us in some positive activity.Work Hard to avoid Negative Thinking
Empty mind is prone to indulge in thinking so keep it busy in order to detach from negative thinking. Keep busy in some creative work. If you have made a mistake, try to correct it instead of harboring feeling of guilt, which may cause depression. Often people see others making them guilty for their misfortune. So instead of feeling guilt, we should review our mistakes and move to right decisions.Tips to Fight Depression: If You have Diagnosed with Unfortunately
Your friends and family members are very much important, who can play their active role to help you out in depression fight. Prolonged feeling of guilt, sadness, low self-esteem and loathing of life mostly results in Stress and Depression. Here are some guidelines, which must be adhered to improve your mental health and will power to fight against depression:-
Have good Sleep
Minimum 7 hour sleep is necessary to relax the mind but exceeding 9 hours results in sluggish and tired feeling through the preceding day. If you are unable to fall asleep, even then don’t worry and try to lie down with closed eyes thinking about the happy events of your life and relax your mind.Take Balanced Diet
Balanced diet has miracles to improve your mental and physical health. The suitable food contains refined carbohydrates, low fats, high protein and chromium which help to stabilize your energy level with boosting of your mood up.How to Gain Matrimonial Harmony in Life
Loyalty and Respect
Each man likes to think that he is the head of his house – as he should be. However, a man should be a partner in a home – not a ruler. Good manners in marriage mean loyalty to and respect for the other partner, but this loyalty and respect should be earned, not demanded.Share Responsibility
A man should share the responsibility in the management of the family finances, with the wife fully understanding the limitations of a pay cheque and the obligations which must be met each month. It is necessary that someone carries on the family’s financial obligations and keep an accurate account of the expenditures.Work Together in a Team
A young wife may have had little experience in financial matters before marriage, and a young husband may have had almost as little financial experience himself. It is important that a young couple work together as a team in sharing the household responsibilities, unless one is incompetent. But what appears to be incompetence may only be inexperience.Evaluate the Responsibilities
Partnership in marriage includes a sound evaluation of each other’s responsibilities: a man with his busy routine and his career—related problems and worries; a woman with a house to maintain, food to cook, and children to care for. Sometimes a woman even combines these household activities with a career, or a part-time career, with little or no household help.Monetary Allowance
A happy household is one where both the man and woman have a certain monetary allowance for their own personal use, with no strings attached, whatsoever.Sense of Equality
A husband often lends a hand, and the wife will do the same in jobs frequently considered the specific chore of the other. But a man should not be required to do a woman’s work any more than a woman should be expected to do a man’s work or to contribute too much as bread-winner. It is important that neither the husband nor the wife holds the extra work as a mental club over the other.Be Life Partner Instead of Dominant
A partnership in marriage means that both partners say “we” instead of “I” and “our” instead of “my” with the exception that official business is the husband’s concern only. A partnership, however, does not mean that one or the other cannot have any liberty of thought or action. Partnership and domination do not go hand in hand. Always remain loving and caring for each other becauseLove is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend. Famous Martin Luther King
Interaction with Loved ones and New Friends
Try to come out your depressed thoughts and interact with people to build new relations with them. Remain in company of your loved ones and visit clubs, gyms and other socializing places.Join Healthy Activities
You may join gym for physical fitness or participate in games, some interesting courses, art classes, hobbies in order to get rid of your negative thoughts and worries.Arrange Parties and Accept Invitations
Arrange parties and invite your friends and relatives to have a fun and joy. Never miss a chance if you have been invited to join such parties and gatherings.Take Healthy Exercise
Exercise is the most effective tool you will find in your depression fight. It makes you not only physical fit but improves your mental health with boosting your mood up.Go Outside Frequently
If you remain all the time in your room you will feemore depressed and thinking your agonies. So go outside frequently and avoid loneliness.Positive Thinking.
Always look the bright side and remain optimistic. You can count the number of seeds in an apple, but you can’t count the number of apples in a seed, future is unseen so think better. Don’t spoil your today in the worries of tomorrow and yesterday.Look around Yourself.
Don’t think that you are at the worst; you will find so many people who are suffering with more horrible physical and mental diseases. Try to help them out you will feel satisfaction and real sense of joy/happiness. if you really feel the miseries of others you will be ultimately become hopeful and thankful to God.Everything that is done in the world is done by hope. Famous Martin Luther King
How to Make your Matrimonial Life Happier?
A happier household and a stronger partnership is likely to emerge when:-
A husband does not
- Give orders (You should confine orders to your professional career).
- Drop ashes from cigarettes, cigars, or a pipe on the floor or furniture.
- Bring someone home for a meal or overnight stay without advance notice.
- Interrupt his wife’s story – or anyone else’s.
- Forget to compliment his wife when she merits it.
- Criticize his wife’s appearance, or anything else about her, in front of others.
- Compare his wife’s cooking unfavorably with another’s.
- Leave a razor lying around un-cleaned; drop a wet towel on the bathroom floor; or leave the toothpaste uncapped.
- Forget anniversaries.
- Toss a cap or coat on the chair or sofa, or forget to hang up his clothing.
A wife does not
- Act “bossy” or nag.
- Gossip or tell personal, official or business affairs to others.
- Interrupt her husband’s story.
- Forget to compliment him when he deserves it.
- Visit her mother too often, or have too many in-laws as house guests.
- Become jealous of her husband’s time, classmates/ course mates, or long-time friends. (He should not be jealous of her friends either)
- Decide abruptly when to leave a party or any social function (She should consult her husband first).
- Overdress or dress carelessly at functions.
- As partners, husband and wife should never belittle each other. Any family dissension should be discussed in private, but not before the children or a servant. It should be a matter of personal pride for both to be as neat and attractive, and as mentally stimulating after marriage, as before
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How to Remain Happy?
What is Happiness?
Happiness is not a thing which can be bought from market; it is a sense and positive thinking style. No doubt, people have to face sorrows and grieve in their lives, but it is evident that some people always try to manage their problems and remain struggling without being depressed. On the other hand some people become stressed, depressed and lamenting the situation they are being faced with. It is fact that people like to give company to happy persons instead of a depressed one. You also want to be one of them who remain happy; not question the question is that How to Remain Happy? Here are some tips and guidance to fight with depression and to remain happy:-
Do not Fear what the People Think about you
Try to remain positive in all your aspects of life and never come under the fear that what will people think about me. Try to satisfy your mind rather to keep happy those people with contradicting behavior. If some try to criticize you never show any reaction; be polite and reply in a good way.
Join Happy Personnel’s Company
Try to join and remain in the company of jolly, happy and never mind people. A man is known by the company he keeps. Your company will be your identification that you are happy, want to remain and to keep other people happy.
Be Positive and Look Bright Sides of a Thing
Your thinking style plays an important role to control your mood and the decisions you are going make, either right or wrong. Always be positive in your attitude as nothing is totally good or bad; but they varies in percentage, so try to find out any good in a lot of bad; rather to search any bad in a lot of good. Keep forgiving other's mistakes being loving and caring for all.
Do not Wait for Happiness
People remain waiting for happiness and forget about so many joys and small entertainments which are already available. If you are worried about trifles then why should you not enjoy tiny pleasures; it is injustice with your soul.
Always Remain Friendly
People without friends are the poorest ones of the world because they have not any opportunity to share their problems and stresses. Happy people always remain making new friends and present themselves as good friends like loving, caring and sincere. Happiness comes in reward when we try to make some one happy. A person who always tries to make people offended never remains happy. Do good have good make happy and remain happy.
Famous Martin Luther King Quote : I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.
Have Fun with your Situation
This can be one of the most powerful ways to get you through tough times. You have got to be able to laugh at the situation you are in; otherwise you will go insane and never triumph over it.
Remain Smiling and Laughing
It is common perception that we think that smiling people have no worries and tensions in their life, it is wrong; the fact is that they know the art of smiling in the face of fear. They show their balanced temperament in odd situations which you can also do 100 % surely, if you try. Work hard and believe in God, you will never fail to remain happy.
Learn from Past Experiences
If you have some bitter memories in your mind, it is positive to change your thinking style and learn through the past mistakes in order to avoid their reoccurrences. Try to change your anger into a strong will power and your miseries to achievements and goals of life. Work hard with full confidence; no body can defeat you if you are mentally strong in your decisions.
Day Dreaming
Very nice hobby for everyone, think about repeatedly the golden memories of your past if you have. These memories can make you happy at any time when you think about. Remain struggling in making happy memories for every smallest bit of joy and happiness.
How to Sleep Tight without Pills?
Follow Strict sleeping Schedule
Parents are always right when they confine their children to follow bed time. Because it permits the body to set internal rhyme in order to get up on time in the morning after completing sleeping hours. Make a schedule of your sleep and strictly follow it; after some days you will get the positive results, also stick to your schedule on week ends keeping the tempo maintained.Avoid Day Sleeping
Always try to sleep at night instead of day time unless it is unavoidable. Many times you have to wait (some times almost overnight) for sleep at night due to day slumber.Expose Yourself to Sunlight
Maximize your exposure to sunlight having sun baths and moving in sunshine. It will result in good sleep at night.Physical Exercise
Physical exercise is very much important not only for good health and fitness but it is equally beneficent for good sleep at night. 20 to 30 minutes exercise daily helps to sleep better but it should be kept in mind that just before sleeping physical exercise may make falling asleep more difficult. The best time for physical exercise is in the morning and evening before breakfast and dinner.Take Hot Shower
Before going to bed taking hot shower helps to relax tense muscles after long day fatigue and ultimately results in following good sleep.Avoid Late Night Dinners
Eating late night just before going to bed has become a common practice of this modern age. Eat your dinner well in time keeping a clear margin of at least 2 hours between dinner and sleep. It help to digest or starting digest well in time before you going to sleep allowing your body to take rest instead of churning away your food.Avoid Tea Coffee at Bedtime
Before going to sleep avoid taking tea, coffee or any kind of stimulant to enjoy good sleep. Make sure that too much use of stimulants results in loss of sleep and nervous weakness.Avoid Alcohol
Alcohol being a depressant is used for sleep which is harmful for physical and mental health. Moreover it causes you to wake up during the night and body feels tired after sleep.Room Environment
Room should be slightly cooler, wear warm clothes if feel necessary. Room should be airy, odorless and fresh. Lights should be off or very dim. There should be no noise distracting your mind while going to sleep. Make sure that the bed you are going to sleep is comfortable and supportive.Read an Interesting Book
Before going to sleep always read any interesting book which can bring your mind away from daily worries, tensions and other terrible thoughts temporarily.Follow your Religious Guidelines
The common teaching of all the religions, it provides hope, thankfulness to God and instructs to serve the humanity. The most you strict in following religious guidelines most you remain satisfied and contented. Good sleep is very much dependent on spiritual satisfaction and inner motivation.Everything that is done in the world is done by hope. Famous Martin Luther King
Be Grateful to God
Think about the uncountable blessings, Allah Almighty blessed you with and you will find a big community in this world which is not blessed with the same. Be grateful to God always rather being depressed and tense for little miseries. Positive thinking ultimately makes you satisfied and happy, helping you to sleep tight.Avoid Depression
If you are depressed and angry due to unbecoming attitude/behavoir of someone and remain waking all the night, try to forgive him and go to sleep. Forgiveness is the best option to get rid from unfortunate experiments leading to good sleep and fresh mood. Keep your self away from Hate, Anger and Fear as for as possible for happy life and good sleep.Do You Believe in Magic Words?
Goal setting.
**Shoot for the moon even if you miss, you will be among the stars.**People with goals succeed because they know where they are going.
Avoid Hypocrisy.
**God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.Value of Time.
**Early to bed and early to rise keep the men healthy, wealthy and wise.
**Know the true value of time, snatch, seize and enjoy every moment of it.
Get Experience.
**Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment.
Self Confidence.
**No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Key of Success.
**There are no gains without pains.
**Success is a state of mind. If you want success start thinking of yourself as successful.
**In the end, the only people who fail are those who do not try
**You win only if you are not afraid lose.
**Nothing stops person who desires to achieve.
**There is no limit to what a man can do if he does not care who gets the credit.
Be Loving for all.
**Love someone who doesn’t deserve it.
**Good is not good where better is expected.
**It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.
**Smile keeps you away from anxiety and depression.
Value of Intelligence.
**One good head is better than hundred strong hands.
**Thinking well is wise; Planning well is Wiser and Doing well wisest and best of all.
Dare to Start.
**All glory comes from daring to begin.
**The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
**Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still.
Be Concentrated.
**To do two things at once is to do neither.
Hard Working.
**The man on the top of the hill just did not fall there.
**First deserve then desire.
Guard Secrets.
**Take care what you say before a wall, for you cannot tell who may be behind it.
Value of Knowledge.
**The beautiful thing about learning is; nobody can take it away from you
Be United.
**Snow flakes are one of the nature’s most fragile thing, just look at what they can do when they stick together.
Character Building
**Watch your THOUGHTS; they become words.
**Watch your words; they become actions.
**Watch your actions; they become habits.
**Watch your habits; they become character.
**Watch your character; it becomes your DESTINY.
Value of Words in Human Relations.
*The Six most important words......... I admit I made a mistake.*The Five most important words....... You did a good job
*The Four most important words...... What is your opinion?
*The Three most important words.... If you please
*The Two most important words....... Thank you
*The One most important word......... We
*The LEAST important word.............. I
How Forgiveness is an Antidote to Depression?
Causes of Depression
The major causes of depression are the feeling oneself miserable, humiliated, helpless against injustice and hatred to some personalities for their cruelties, wrong doings, unbecoming behaviors or dealings. Anger, hate and fear are the basic elements of most of the psychological problems; depression is one of them.Islamic Dogma
In Islam severe punishments are given to corrupt people according to the nature of crimes. Justice is supreme law of Islam giving rights to take revenge (Qisas) through legal procedure by court of justice. All strict Islamic laws are for the welfare of humanity to provide them mental satisfaction against depression and protection to their lives, assets and honor/respect against all threats. In spite of all these strict laws Islam teaches their followers to forgive even having the power and right to take revenge. Why? Because Allah almighty likes forgiveness and He is the most merciful. According to Islamic teachings, a Muslim is not permitted to remain angry with more than three days on personal differences. And the person is appreciated (with Allah's blessings) who take initiative to normalize the angered situation and forgive others. Moreover total bycot (Qata Rehmi) between two Muslims is not permissible (HARAM) at all.Benefits and Reasons of Forgiveness
It is fact that forgiveness is not an easy task but if we forgive it brings so many positive changes in our life, we can’t imagine. Now we come to the reasons why forgiveness is necessary for mental satisfaction and how it can counter depression? Major benefits and reasons of forgiveness are as under:-Mental Satisfaction
We keep dwelling on unbecoming behaviors of people and our helplessness, until we forgive. Forgiveness provides mental satisfaction and help to get rid of bad memories of unfortunate experiments. It illuminates the dark past and helps to take good decisions about bright future. It is the golden saying of Paul Boese,“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future”
To Curb Miserable Feeling
It is fact that hatred makes people miserable if they are not able to forgive. They carry a heavy mental burden and remain unhappy through out the life. In spite of all justification hatred makes their own lives difficult instead of opponents. In fact they keep punishing their selves for the mistakes of others if they do not forgive. Giving too much importance and dwelling mind on negative attitudes of others also change our mindset and ruin our happy life.I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. Famous Martin Luther King Quote
Happiness Lies in Forgiveness instead of Revenge
It is universal truth that forgiveness gives happiness; field of experiment is open for all. Although it is difficult to do than to say, I am agreed, so we keep in mind that no gain without pain. You may understand the forgiveness that we decide to permit a new chapter to be written preventing past mistakes and errors repetition. According to Martin Luther King, Jr.“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.”
Best Way to Retain Memories
Just like a forum record, our mind is continuously recording all memories irrespective they are good or bad. We are the moderator who make some memories sticky and remove permanently some memories from the record, which we feel unhealthy and unbecoming. Good moderator never leaves any bad post to keep his forum record neat and clean in presentable form. If you are committed to defeat depression, burry all evil thoughts like hate, anger and jealousy and fear and take a new start for happy life.I have Decided to Forgive; What is YOUR decision?
We all are human beings and nobody can claim of being errorless in his all decisions and actions. We always expect and wish to ignore our mistakes by others and we like and love those people who ignore our mistakes rather than who try to punish on every mistake. Why we should not like to join these loving people by adopting their healthy attitude. I am joining those loving forgivers, leaving depressed community behind and heartedly inviting you all to join me for a peaceful and happy life.Forgiveness is the answer to the child’s dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again.
– Dag Hammarskjold.
How to Deal with Anger?
Hadrat Muhammad (Peace be upon Him)
It means that controlling anger is a most difficult act and an actual test of mental strength. Anger is not only effects one’s mental as well as physical capabilities; the decisions and wording in state of anger mostly proves wrong and hurting, cause moroseness in future. So it is necessary for all to learn the anger controlling techniques in order to maintain balanced personality and to make right decisions for happy life. Here are given some practical techniques to deal with anger in right way.
Be Silent
It is common experience that when we speak in anger the situation continues to aggravate until one man controls his tongue. So the key is silence. If you remain silent in anger you are winner you may say we will discuss this topic later on. If situation is worse you may finish your talking by saying I do not like to respond you any more and be silent and remain silent until you get rid of state of anger. In Urdu language a proverb means that “cut of knife can be healing on body but the cut of tongue (derogatory remarks) will not heal on the soul forever (until the affected person forgives). So remain silent in anger and avoid hurting the other one.Be Indifferent for a While
In childhood our parents taught us to become not responding to teasing children. In this way children used to quite bothering us by loosing interest due to our non-responding behavior. This technique is still effective for those malicious people who always enjoy making you mad in anger. If you become indifferent temporarily to teasing people you will be winner to defeat your enemies.Drink Water and Breath Deeply
When you feel the state of anger drink water, it may be difficult for some people but if you practice this technique you will find definite result. Deep breathing helps controlling anger and provides calmness of mind.Change your Position
You can also get help in controlling anger by changing your position; sit down if you are standing or lay down on bed if you are sitting you will feel better control on you emotions.Leave the Place
Try to leave the place immediately and to busy yourself in some favorite hobby. Leave thinking about the angry situation and keep pending any decision you want to make in this situation; surely it will be different.Don’t Spoil your Peace of Mind
You have 100% right to become angry with a person who offends you but think for a while that in this way you can loose only your precious peace of mind and the other one may be unaware or enjoying the situation you are suffering with. So we should value our peace of mind instead of anger, it is wisdom.Famous Martin Luther King Quote : I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.
Motivational Suggestions
Try to motivate yourself to abstain from anger by repeating following sentences silently:-“Anger can not settle any situation rather will make it worse”.
“This anger is not in my favor”.
Think Positively
In this world no body is perfect; everyone is born with so many good and bad qualities (except holy personalities). So when you feel anger due to negative attitude or any other mistake, try to dwell your mind on his good qualities by just ignoring his mistake. Negative thoughts can easily be countered with positive thinking, so be positive in all situations; resultantly you will feel relaxed and happy.Be Kind and Smiling
Smiling (not critical) has the magic effect to diffuse so many angered situations. It is free of cost and can be used to normalize the abnormal tense situations. It is just offering good will to others and showing your loving behavior. Try to be kind in your words and attitude in all situations in order to avoid any hot talk.Be Logical and Polite
During talking always try to understand the opponents’ point of view before defending yourself, always defend yourself logically, using kind words. Always abstain yourself from passing derogatory remarks about anyone. Truth needs only logical expression not any force.Happiness Guide for Innocent Wives
The Most Important
I put a very simple question, who is the most important in your life? Answers may be different like, mother, father, brother, sister, own kids, hubby or any one else. All is incorrect; the correct answer is YOU. You are the most important in your life. If you are fit, healthy and fresh, you can look after your all relations at the level best.Be Happy at your own
You are held responsible to remain happy with your own efforts. Don’t wait for any relation who will try to make you happy. Try to find out the ways to enjoy and participate actively in all happy events.Take Initiative to Make Others Happy
It is big mistake to wait for your hubby for making you happy, you can do the same. Always keep trying heartedly to remain happy and to make and keep happy your hubby and other family members, ultimately you will become popular, respectful and win the hearts of whole family. And if you remain waiting for somebody to make you happy, you will fed up soon. If you feel that both of you have become so busy in your routine works and find no time for each other, give up all works, go and give him a big hug with kissing. Then come back to your routine work. You will find the magical result.Accept Each Other as Individuals
In matrimonial life a number of clashes and tensions may be resolved if both life partners accept that they are two individuals having their own peculiarities in habits, likes/dislikes, thinking style and mood. They have to accept and respect rather trying to change each other. Every flower contains a unique fragrance, so enjoy it.Don’t be Inquisitive all the Time
Try to remain calm and happy without being conscious about trifles. If you fell your hubby’s mood is off, try to find out the reason very politely, if he shares his problem very nice and if he doesn’t, don’t be inquisitive or insist him to share. Simple let it go and wait for good time. After some time when you feel better your hubby’s mood, try to let him know that you want to listen him but never insist to tell you the reason. If not shares let him go and remain calm in al respects. Never try to guess the reasons why he is angry and feeling miserable or making excuses for non-visible mistakes. He will be ok after some time or days. Don’t worry and never feel guilty until you are convinced about your mistake.Never Pass Derogatory Remarks
What ever the situation is faced, never pass derogatory remarks about any family member while explaining yourself, especially about close relatives of your hubby. Hubbies are very sensitive in this matter. Always remain respectful for his respectable relations.Magic words “Sorry” and “Thank You”
Don’t hesitate to accept your mistakes without making lame excuses and to say sorry immediately. You will really feel your life very easy and comfortable if you adopt thanking behavior and saying sorry on pity mistakes. The word sorry always makes you most respectable boosting your honor. You can win hearts of all by using these two magic words frequently as a habit.Don’t be Obstinate
If you feel your hubby angry, it doesn’t mean to give him same response being angry of silent. You must follow your normal routine of laughing, joking, making happy and what so ever you do. You will find that he would not remain in this mood if you are moving around him with happy mood. Surely he will follow you; you are not to follow his bad mood. Keep in mind that all your fights should be resolved in bed. Surrender in front of your hubby and win his heart, your give in, is actually your victory.Express Yourself
If you feel any problem don’t be late to share it. If you are upset and you feel that you are unable to covey your feelings in better way by talking, write a letter to your hubby, mentioning all your complaints and express your point of view clearly. This is the best option to convey your feelings without any interruption and have good effect. Beacause some time your hubby don't want to listen you for different reasons, so if you write him he will surely read and understand your point of view.Be Moral Symbol for your Kids
Your family environment is the basic molding factor of your kid’s personality. They want to see you happy and confident and they follow your habits and thinking style in their life more than your verbal guidance. So it is necessary to portrait yourselves in front of kids as confident, loving, caring and cheerful parents for the improvement of their personality.Eight Lessons Learnt in 33 Years
Hatem said, “For the last 33 years.”
Shaqiq enquired, “What have you learnt from me during this period?”
Hatem said, “I have learnt only eight things.”
Shaqiq exclaimed, “You have learnt nothing except eight things?”
Hatem replied, “Yes, O dear teacher, I have learnt nothing except eight things. I do not wish to speak falsely to you.”
Shaqiq said, “Describe those eight things to me. Let me hear them.”
Hatem began to describe them.
Good Deeds
“First, I looked around and beheld that every man has got an object of love and he lives with that thing, until his death. When he goes to the grave, it is separated from him. I pondered over the words of Allah, “We are from Allah and to Him we shall return.” So I have made good deeds my object of love. When I will go to the grave my good deeds shall accompany me to it.”The sage Shaqiq said, “O Hatem, you have done well.”
Satisfaction
“Second, I have pondered over the words of Allah, “As for one who fears the Majesty of his Lord and refrains his soul from lust, Paradise is his resting place.” (79:40) I have come to know that the words of Allah are true. I have tried my utmost to suppress my lust and remained satisfied with obeying the injunctions of Allah.”Saving
“Third, I looked around the people and found that everyone values what he possesses. Then I turned to the words of Allah: “What is with you will end and what is with Allah will last.” (16:98) Then I began to give unto Allah whatever valuable things fell into my hands.”Honor
“Fourth, I looked around and saw that everyone puts his trust in his wealth and properties, his name and fame and his honour and glory and found that there is nothing in them. Then I looked towards the words of Allah: “The most honorable of you to Allah is one who is the most Allah-fearing among you.” (49:13) Then I intended to accept Allah’s fear in my life till I am honored by Allah.”Subsistence
“Fifth, I looked around the people and found them slandering and cursing one another because of envy and hatred and then I looked towards the words of Allah: “It is I who distributed their subsistence among them in this world’s life.” (43:31) So I gave up envy and hatred and I realized that subsistence comes from Allah and then I disliked the people no more.”Friend and Foe
“Sixth, I looked to the people and found them ungrateful to one another and even some of them kill others and then I looked towards the words of Allah: “The devil (Satan) is your foe and so take him as a foe.” (35:6). So I took the devil (Satan) as a foe and ceased to have enmity with people.”Fate
“Seventh, I turned to the people and found everyone seeking his livelihood and for that debasing himself and committing unlawful things and then I looked towards the words of Allah: “There is no living creation on earth of which the provision is not upon Allah.” (11:6) Finding that I am one of the creations whose provision is upon Allah, I turned towards the duties prescribed by Allah and entrusted my fate unto Him.”Rliability
“Eight, I turned to the people and found that every one placed his trust in something created, some in his wealth, some in his profession, some in his industry and some in the health of his body and then looked towards the words of Allah: “If a man relies on Allah, He is sufficient for him.” (65:3) Then I relied on Allah and He is sufficient for me.”On hearing Hatem’s replies, Shaqiq exclaimed, “Hatem, may Allah our Creator prosper you…”
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